Birthday Quotes: Funny, Famous and Clever

Last Updated February 5, 2023

Funny Birthday Quotes

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it. – By R. C. Ferguson
Age is a number and yours is unlisted. – By Unknown
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – By Jack Benny
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. – By Daniel Francois Esprit Auber
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. – By Unknown Author
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – By Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – By H. Prochnow

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. – By Unknown Author
They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much. – By Malcolm Cowley
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. – By Robert Frost
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. – By Mark Twain
Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. – By Tom Wilson
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – By Bob Hope
I know age has made your memory a bit foggy, so I’m going to remind you that today is your birthday!
Do you remember all the crazy, fun moments we had when we were kids? Of course, you don’t, you antique! Happy birthday!
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – By Charles Schultz
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. – By Mary Schmich

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life. – By Robert Southey
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty. – By Joan Rivers
I urge you not to count the candles on this years’ birthday cake. Not only it will take up the entire time of the party, with the memory you have at your age, you will probably forget where you where and will have to start over a million times! Anyways, happy birthday!
I want to congratulate you for being one of the few old people I know that have not turned grumpy yet! That is an achievement worthy of praise! Happy birthday!
Today, on the day of your birthday, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of interesting things going on. I’m afraid the celebration of an old person isn’t amongst them! Still is super cool though! So happy birthday!
At this point in life, there is no need to think what you should be doing in the future, you should probably be thinking of what do for the next week. Same thing anyway…..Uhhmmm, I mean, happy birthday!
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – By Sir Norman Wisdom
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. – By Herbert Asquith

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – By Robert Frost
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – By Erma Bombeck
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. – By Unknown Author
First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. – By Leo Rosenberg
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. – By Anthony Powell
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. – By Eva Gabor
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. – By Unknown Author

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. – By Ogden Nash
Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age. – By Richard Armour
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. – By Golda Meir
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. – By Maurice Chevalier
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. – By Dave Barry
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. – By Phyllis Diller
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. – By Ubie Blake
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. – By Euripedes
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. – By Jennifer Yane
It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. – By Brigitte Bardot
We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. – By Unknown Author
Another birthday? Don’t let it get you down. After all, you’re still winning our race to the grave, old man.
There is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn

Birthday Images with Funny Birthday Quotes

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