200+ Funny Birthday Messages

Here you will find the funniest and most hilarious birthday messages. Give your friends and loved ones a memorable experience on their birthdays and put a smile on their faces on the most important day of the year. Sending a greeting to a good friend shouldn’t be a matter of routine, and it shouldn’t be boring. Good friends know what makes you laugh, and what will not strike you as funny. SMILE! IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY. Funny Birthday Messages.

The Ultimate List of Funny Birthday Messages

  • For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth, but they were sold out of cave art and dinosaur bones.
  • A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
  • If I have to tie you up and swing a light over your head until you talk, I will. Eventually, you’ll spill the location of that Fountain of Youth you’ve found!
  • Actually, I wanted to get you something super special, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
  • To my friend on his birthday: I want you to know that I’ve always looked up to you. Yes, you’re taller than me, but I’ve always admired your style and impeccable grooming. By the way, time to trim that nose hair.
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  • One of the things I learned growing up with you, is that if you have a dream, you should always chase it. I mean, you still can run in your age right? Nevertheless, happy birthday!
  • Having you around always made me feel like we will be forever young, yet, you ended up breaking that rule, you grumpy old geezer!
  • I really hope you brushed your teeth this morning! Because with your age, I’m not sure your teeth will survive until next year.
  • If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then I’m afraid you missed that train old pal!
  • Just to be sure, I’m going to bring a few buckets full with water tonight before you light up the candles, don’t want to be homeless on your birthday due to an accidental fire! Happy birthday my friend!
  • Instead of being sad because you grew up, be happy because you will not be the grumpy old geezer you will become in 10 years! Happy birthday!
  • So, I always wanted to learn about dinosaurs. Could you share your knowledge with me? I mean, you have probably met them in person! Just kidding, happy birthday you fossil!
  • They say that at your age, birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say.

 

  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
  • I don’t know how you do it. You don’t look a year older than 185! Happy Birthday to the best friend, ever!
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • Happy Birthday on your amazing day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake. You’re another year older and another year wiser. So put your brain to work and figure out there isn’t no gift for you.
  • Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life said, Kitty Collins. Be glad you’re doing it gracefully.
  • Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  • (written in real small text). You’re not old until you can’t read this writing anymore.
  • You’re older. You’re wiser. You’re sophisticated. You’re far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents.
  • Celebration time: Happy birthday, you old bag!
  • I have trouble wrapping my head around these birthdays we continue to have. I have trouble wrapping my head around lots of things. Like, why do the most biscuit-headed guys come in the best wrapping?
  • Happy Birthday to my Bestie. Rhyming makes me testy. I’ll try to make it jesty. Don’t get mad if it’s pesky, but have a zesty day! Hey, I tried.
  • We’re best friends, so there are certain things I know about you. You’re humble and lavish gifts embarrass you. So,(only to make you comfortable, of course) I’ve limited my birthday wishes to this simple, heartfelt card. Your welcome.
  • On your birthday, let’s solidify our friendship commitment and the bond we share. We always have each other’s back, right? (I hope so. You’ve got WAY too much “on” me!)
  • Happy birthday to a loyal friend who looks as cool as he did in high school. You can still rock that tie-dye, AND you’ve hung on to our friendship and your mullet, whether we’re popular or not.

 

  • Come on, don’t be like this. You have survived this year. Although you’re older, trust me it’s better than the alternative.
  • Congratulations on your birthday! Remember Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
  • Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  • It’s your birthday, and I must say, you indeed take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
  • Don’t feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.
  • Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit….but check it for wrinkles first!
  • Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  • An old fart is as good as a new one…
  • Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we’ll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it, forget about the future, you can’t predict it, forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
  • Forget your past, it’s already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.
  • I’m throwing you an existentialist themed birthday party. If you’re in the woods, and a tree falls on your birthday, and there’s no one there to see it, are you still a year older? I’ll stay out of the woods just in case.
  • Why do old guys start growing hair from their ears? On this birthday, I figured you could answer from personal knowledge. While you’re at it, either pull up those dark socks or change from shorts into pants – as a public service.
  • Friends may come and go, but birthdays just accumulate.
  • George Carlin said that. Don’t ask me what it means. You wanted something unique for your birthday, you got it.
  • Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Whether you write or find a card that reflects your friend’s personality, it’s great to include some good humor too. Some people are sensitive about age, but if your friend isn’t then a few funny birthday messages about this topic are typical on this special day. One sentiment often expressed in funny terms is “You aren’t becoming older, you’re becoming a classic.” Old sayings such as “A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age” is a fun remark as is “You’re so old today when you look at your birth certificate it’s expired”. Another is “Remember to count your blessings and not your wrinkles.” These usually get a smile from those comfortable with turning a year older. A sweeter funny thought is “You aren’t really forty, you’re just eighteen with twenty-two years of experience. Check out this large collection of funny birthday wishes and sayings and make your choice.

The Funniest Birthday Cards

Funny Happy BirthdayFunny Birthday Wishes, Cards and Messages: Flame Thrower To Light Up Your Birthday Candles Funny Birthday Wishes, Cards and Messages: Funny Birthday Card With Dinosaur

You’re How Old? Funny Birthday Messages.Happy Birthday Nerd King. Funny Birthday Messages.HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU PARTY ANIMAL. Funny Birthday Messages.Happy Birthday to you beautiful. Funny Birthday Messages.Take all those candles out of the cake and nobody gets hurt. Funny Birthday Messages.Funny Birthday Messages: Actually, I wanted to get you something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.

The Most Hilarious Birthday Messages

  • Happy birthday to a man who is really younger than he looks.
  • Have fun as much as you can, but not too much, because you are at a vulnerable age.
  • Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
  • Have you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? It’s ok you can light up all your candles now? We all have a glass of water in our hands.
  • Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too
  • Hmm … I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
  • Happy Birthday! It’s about time you start acting like your real age.
  • Hoping that you can find all the strength and courage needed… to blow all of the candles out.
  • Happy Birthday! The inevitable came a year closer.
  • Hoping you dance the night away or at least watch other people dance late into the night, or at least stay awake…
  • Happy Birthday! You look beautiful for a person who is by one year closer to death.
  • I didn’t forget your birthday. I just forgot today’s date!
  • Happy Birthday! You’re one year closer to your death day.
  • I figured out, what’s the most challenging thing to do. I think it’s the counting of your wrinkles. Finding one is impossible.
  • Happy Birthday, but what’s your secret; a time machine or something.
  • I think we’re going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.
  • Happy Birthday, you’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death.
  • I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
  • Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
  • I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday, but nothing came to mind.
  • I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • I’m just here for the cake.
  • I’m not going to make any age-related jokes, because, in fact, I feel a little pity about how old you are.
  • If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
  • If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
  • I’ll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
  • You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
  • You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
  • You think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year, this year you’re ancient.
  • You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!
  • You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
  • Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo
  • You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
  • You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
  • You’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday.
  • You’re not forty; you’re eighteen with twenty-two years of experience.
  • You’re not getting older. You’re just a little closer to dying! Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.

 

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