Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages

Here you will find the funniest and most hilarious birthday messages. Give your friends a memorable experience on their birthdays and put a smile on their faces on the most important day of the year.

  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
  • A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
  • Actually, I wanted to get you something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life said Kitty Collins. Be glad you're doing it gracefully.
  • An old fart is as good as a new one….

 

  • (written in real small text). You're not old until you can't read this writing any more.
  • You're older. You're wiser. You're sophisticated. You're far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents.
  • Celebration time: Happy birthday, you old bag!
  • Come on, don’t be like this. You have survived this year. Although you’re older, trust me it’s better than the alternative.
  • Congratulations on your birthday! Remember: Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
  • Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  • Don’t feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.
  • Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit….but check it for wrinkles first!
  • Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  • Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  • Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we'll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it, forget about the future, you can’t predict it, forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
  • Forget your past, it's already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.

  • Friends may come and go, but birthdays just accumulate.
  • George Carlin said that. Don't ask me what it means. You wanted something unique for your birthday, you got it.
  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
  • Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don't die before you eat your cake. You're another year older and another year wiser. So put your brain to work and figure out there isn't no gift for you.
  • Happy birthday to a man who is really younger than he looks.
  • Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
  • Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too
  • Happy Birthday! It’s about time you start acting like your real age.
  • Happy Birthday! The inevitable came a year closer.
  • Happy Birthday! You look fine for a person who is by one year closer to death.
  • Happy Birthday! You're one year closer to your death day.
  • Happy Birthday, but what’s your secret; a time machine or something.
  • Happy Birthday, you're not getting older you're just a little closer to death.
  • Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
  • Have fun as much as you can, but not too much, because you are in a vulnerable age.
  • Have you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? It’s ok you can light up all your candles now? we all have a glass of water in our hands.
  • Hmm … I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
  • Hoping that you can find all the strength and courage needed… to blow all of the candles out.
  • Hoping you dance the night away or at least watch other people dance late into the night, or at least stay awake…
  • I didn’t forget your birthday. I just forgot today’s date!
  • I figured out, what’s the most difficult thing to do. I think it’s the counting of your wrinkles. It’s impossible to find one.
  • I think we’re going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.

 

  • I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
  • I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.
  • I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • I’m just here for the cake.
  • I’m not going to make any age related jokes, because in fact I feel a little pity about how old you are.
  • If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
  • If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
  • I'll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
  • You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
  • You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
  • You think you are old? You're not old… you were old last year, this year you're ancient.
  • You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!
  • You would have loved the gift I didn't bother getting you.
  • You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar.. Yung No Mo
  • You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
  • You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
  • You're a hard person to shop for, so I didn't get you anything. Happy birthday.
  • You're not forty; you're eighteen with twenty two years of experience.
  • You're not getting older. You're just a little closer to dying! Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.

Funny Birthday Wishes and MessagesSending a greeting to a good friend shouldn't be a matter of routine, and it shouldn't be boring. Good friends know what makes you laugh, and what will not strike you as funny.  Whether you write or find a card that reflects your friend’s personality, it's great to include some good humor too. Some people are sensitive about age, but if your friend isn't then a few funny messages about this topic are typical on this special day. One sentiment often expressed in funny terms is “You aren't becoming older, you're becoming a classic.” Old sayings such as “A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age” is a fun remark as is “You're so old today when you look at your birth certificate it's expired”.  Another is “Remember to count your blessings and not your wrinkles.”  These usually get a smile from those comfortable with turning a year older. A sweeter funny thought is “You aren't really forty, you're just eighteen with twenty-two years of experience. Check out this large collection of funny birthday wishes and sayings and make your choice.



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2 thoughts on “Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages

  1. 'Birthdays aren't about the past, they're about the presents!!!' Could you guys add that one please?

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